True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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