Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
