smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
