Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
