I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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