Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
