who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
not ubering you a puppy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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