Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
