sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
