Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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