I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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