i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
