Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
