and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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