ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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