so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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