Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
