found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
