I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
