I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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