haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
