Tell her she can't have a vagina
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
