I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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