Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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