dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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