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Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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