Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
