the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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