I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
