i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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