I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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