what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
