Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
