So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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