You made me cry and you don't even care
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
