I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
