It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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