What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
