did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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