So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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