you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Mom said you looked used
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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