I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
