If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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