so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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