fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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