At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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