Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
