Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
