Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
