I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
